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i dreamed i was a knife

by miscellaneous owl

/
1.
Every window is broken. Every television set shimmers with the sigil of the last transmission, the test signal that hangs like a quartered cross in its frame of static, the primary colors that declare our failure like a coat of arms. Even until the very end, the animatronic rats kept singing. Back and forth on their pistons, playing their empty tambourines, until all the electrons had pooled and drained from their cords, like water. Wave goodbye Wave goodbye Wave goodbye Wave goodbye The last Chuck E. Cheese in the world is in Hayward, CA, at the corner of Hesperian and Winton, behind a defunct Sizzler restaurant where the plastic of the sneeze guards slowly yellows away underneath the cheery fluorescence. Their eyelids really opened and closed, and their heads turned, and they raised and lowered their silent instruments without fatigue. The hen. The dog. The mouse who was a cheerleader. The singing flowers. The crescent moon. Wave goodbye Wave goodbye Wave goodbye Wave goodbye
2.
Paterfamilias sprawled in a pool of blood Letter opener, envelope, and a whiff of smoke The mild detectives lean into the mystery And I think, "God, how I wish that were me" Waxing my mustache just like Hercule Poirot Until it's time to tear it off and I'm back in my real life My billowing sleeves don't fit into my overcoat I'm a failed milkmaid, my bread is dead, Flat hair and deflated loaf Agatha Christie, queen supreme of cottagecore I wanna get cozy, I wanna get nosy Investigate in my plus fours Agatha Christie, you make murder sound so cute I wanna bake bread, wanna wake the dead Just to clarify a red herring or two, Agatha, Agatha Christie So I'm gonna read a book about it Picture brains blown out among the rambling roses Hydrangeas hiding the killer at the kitchen window I guess I'm gonna fantasize Strawberry pies full of cyanide Double cream and the tantalizing dream Of being killed among ~aesthetic~ grapevines Agatha Christie, queen supreme of cottagecore I wanna get cozy, I wanna get nosy Investigate in my plus fours Agatha Christie, you make murder sound so cute I wanna bake bread, wanna wake the dead Just to clarify a red herring or two, Agatha, Agatha Christie
3.
Dreamed I was a hammer Heavy-headed in your hand Dreamed I was an ocean Yearning for dry land Dreamed I was a lightning bolt Plunging towards the earth Dreamed I was another person Dreamed I was still yours Tell me, do you lie awake like me? Lost and lonely? I mean, most of the time I'm fine, I don't mind But late at night, I turn off the lights and dream And then I wonder, do you wish you were still mine? Or are you fine, no more crying? From our old apartment I could hear the lions roar From the concrete of their cages To our room on the second floor You'd see them in their shelters Gnawing at cold meat And it always made me wonder If they thought that they were free Tell me, do you lie awake like me? Lost and lonely? I mean, most of the time I'm fine, I don't mind But late at night, I turn off the lights and dream And then I wonder, do you wish you were still mine? Or are you fine, no more crying? Should we have gotten married? Could we have made a working life? Should I have had your baby? Could I have been your wife? I dreamed I was an airplane I dreamed I was a kite I dreamed I was a lion I dreamed I was a knife Tell me, do you miss those summer nights With the windows open, letting the moon shine in? The evening sounds blew through our house You held onto me as though to save me from a fall And it was perfect, for a while, and we didn't dream at all It was perfect for a while And we didn't dream at all
4.
The Tower 02:39
Light from a lightning cloud Splits the pine tree A fire starts underground Beneath the dead leaves The bough that's been swaying forever starts to bend The world that's been turning forever starts to end Bells ring from under the waves The drowned men have something to say The tower that cast its shade Across the oceans Engulfed in sudden flames Collapses slowly The pages that gave the instructions in crisp black and white Turned empty and blue as the sky at the edge of the night Bells ring from under the waves The sirens have something to say Bells ring from under the skin And call you to come home again
5.
He lifts up the lids of his eyes and his eyes are all white, white He lifts up the lids of his eyes and his eyes are all white, white He lifts up his lips in a smile and his teeth are all white, white He lifts up his lips in a smile and his teeth are all white, white He touches his face with a cloth and it's fluttering white, white He touches his face with a cloth and it's fluttering white, white The birds scream a name from the clouds and they're fluttering white, white The birds scream a name from the clouds and they're fluttering white, white Tekeli-li Tekeli-li The ashes that rain from the sky on my hair are all white, white The ashes that rain from the sky on my hair are all white, white They fall on my face as I lie in the boat, it's all white, white They fall on my face as I lie in the boat, it's all white, white The glow of the ocean that laps at my hand is all white, white The glow of the ocean that laps at my hand is all white, white The vapor that billows due south is all white, white The vapor that billows due south is all white, white Tekeli-li Tekeli-li North wind Pale swirling White morph Emerging Black bittern White bear Red eyes White hair North wind Pale swirling White morph Emerging Burning sea Foams milk White clouds Form veils North wind Pale swirling White morph Emerging North wind Pale swirling White morph Emerging Tekeli-li Tekeli-li
6.
Tucked a prayer in a paper boat, Put it in the river, let it float away If I were a better woman, I would have been there for you, Would have seen it coming Take a ride in my boat And we can watch the world change If we can let everything go Maybe we'll be carried away Maybe we'll travel the world, you and I For a year and a day Sing to me like you'd sing to a child Or to the moon, or to the wild air A lullaby a long time coming I miss your voice I miss you, honey Take a ride in my boat And we can watch the world change If we can let everything go Maybe we'll be carried away Maybe we'll travel the world, you and I For a year and a day
7.
I see you Yeah, you must have been dancing You have your high heels in your hand Yeah, you must have been dancing The Tornado Room's open till 2 AM Come on, come on Come on, come on Hey, it's true We should be sleeping, me and you, But we're young and the night feels like heaven We'll start at the Frequency And see who we can meet All the hipsters and the metalheads are out tonight Wearing black, smoking cigarettes Out on the street in front of the Paradise Let's stay up all night, let's get another drink Because we've got time It feels like this night will never end My feet hurt Yeah, I've been dancing Bands were playing at the Terrace tonight We danced and danced under the sodium lights As the sun went down And then we walked downtown Come on, come on, come on, come on Hey, it's true We should be sleeping, me and you, But we're young and the night feels like heaven Let's go down to Willy Street And see who we can meet All the punks and all the biker dudes are out tonight Drinking Pabst, bumming cigarettes Behind the Wisco or on the Mickey's patio Let's stay up all night, let's get another drink Because we've got time It feels like this night will never end
8.
A pill to soften the body A pill to slow the anxious mind A pill to dull the suffering As you stare up at a painted sky But my body knows the score But my body knows the score My body knows what this is for The sound goes on forever It's time again when forever ends The waves lap on the ceiling Around the lights, around the pain But my body knows the score But my body knows the score My body knows what this is for

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released May 7, 2021

Huan-Hua Chye: instruments/vocals/production

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miscellaneous owl Madison, Wisconsin

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